shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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