Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
