I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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