oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
