And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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