Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
