So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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