I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
