twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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