So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
