so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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