so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
