dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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