i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
