You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
