I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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