Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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