I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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