Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
