just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
