it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
