He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
