I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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