new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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