So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
