2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Farmville is her only friend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
