Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it penis luge time yet?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
