nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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