you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
