I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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