Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
