I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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