Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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