We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
