I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my shit smells like andre
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
