i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My pussy is not your playground.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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