i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
