my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
