Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
