my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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