Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
