Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
