Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
