she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
