i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
