i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
