I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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