So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
