i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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