You're earring is so big in my mouth
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
